Deny, Deny, Deny


Yikes! I’m in denial.

Buruk la perasaan yang satu ini.
Seperti orang bongek pula rasanya.

Sebenarnya, saya sendiri tidak pasti dengan situasi yang sebenar.
I don’t like to be meddling in the game.
Now, I’m trap AGAIN in the same game!

I don’t have enough strength to conceal my feelings.
My heart doesn’t make out from stone, okay?
I am a normal person.
I’m a person.

But, to be honest, I don’t wanna play the game anymore.
Not at this point of time.

I have to fix my intention first.
That’s the most important thing.
I don’t wanna the same mistake keep repeating in my life.

Even so, now I need to hide my phone.
Keep it away from me.
Hide it, bury it, seal it!

Huhhu, I don’t wanna be clingy, needy and emotionally involve person anymore.
I need to find my shield.
I have to get a shell.
I got to protect my self from all these nonsense crap…!



nota cardio: but if you think you can crack the shelter that I build, without hesitate, I will be greatful for you to be my ‘lobster’ ;)


Tanjobi O Omedeto


Mr. Imran Ajmain was the first person who gave the Happy Birthday wish to me today!
Yay me…! Hahha, perasan gile.
Sebenarnya pagi tadi, masuk je kereta switch on radio, terus dengar lagu ‘Selamat Ulang Tahun… Sayang’ from Mr Imran.
So, secara tak langsungnya, Incik Imran itu telah bagi wish kat saya la…kan? Hehhe…

Tapi rasa macam tak excited sangatlah tahun ni.
Tatau nape.
Mungkin kerana the first wish was dapat daripada ‘stranger’ kot – not my own family nor closest friends.
Uhhuhh, agak sedih juga sebenarnya.

Tapi takpe lah, at least dorang wish jugak – later after saya jerit,
“Yey, Imran dedicate lagu ni kat orang…!”
and soon after that my Ibu baru perasan,
“Eh, ari ni birthday Angah, eh? Ibu terlupa la… Happy Birthday…!” (T_T)

Another story, my Ayah.
He called my elder sister and wish her happy birthday pulak!
Apakah? Ayahku sudah ter ‘kompius’.
Sedih…sedih…

Lunch hour today, one of my closest friends, Cik Zura belanja makan kat Kenny Rogers.
Wuhhu, thanks ye kak…!
Tak plan pun sebenarya, skali terserampak pulak kat Alamanda (pada kala saya sedang terburu-buru mencari sesuatu yang sulit di Watson…hahha…).
And terus Cik Zura ajak saya lunch sesame.
Alhamdulillah, rezeki birthday guwe… ;)



Nota kaki: FYI, none of my office mate gave me any wishes today. Except for our own Dato’ KT – he gave me a birthday card. Ok lah daripada takde langsung kan?


Stupid Mistake


Pertamanya.
Saya tidak sepatutnya membenarkan diri saya terjebak dengan perkara-perkara rumit. The work load is already enough to make me feel sick.

Keduanya.
Saya tidak sepatutnya fikir tentang perkara yang remeh. But why do I always keep doing it? Buang masa saja.

Ketiganya.
Saya baru sedar bahawa kawan-kawan saya lebih advance, sudah sampai ke fasa yang lebih rumit berbanding saya. Rupanya, saya masih lagi berada di fasa budak sekolah which is lots of unmatured things going on with me now.

Keempatnya.
Saya ‘blur’ dengan tugasan kerja saya sekarang. Apakah?

Kelimanya.
I felt like my self kind of pathetic sometimes and I think it’s true (T_T) because my friend also said so. Kawan saya kata, saya orang kedua yang dia ‘sedih’kan berbanding rakan-rakan yang lain.

Uhhhggghhh…!
Teruk sangatkah saya…?